Hallucinations

For the last two days, I have been so paranoid about different things. I was so depressed I thought about running my car into the river...it's a big river. The paranoia and the hallucinations are usually really bad. I keep thinking someone is always linking to my brain.. like telepathy. It has me paranoid to the max. I got it to chill down some yesterday after I got a couple of beers down me. I talked to myself too.

The hallucination was about drugs and some drug addicts were trying to hand me their pain again. They said the back pain I had was someone else's pain and that they were making me take it. And they would tell the whole world that I took peoples pain away from them and they were healed. But what the psychiatrist says is that I was in so much pain my brain creates a delusional reason for it...like someone else was making me hurt. I tried to tell myself this but I kept hearing this asshole say I was taking it no matter what I did. Then another drug addict started messing with my pain killers so that I couldn't sleep or feel the pain killer work. They said they were doing it for Methamphetamines (Krank). So I ended up chewing out this drug dealer at 1:00 am in the morning but what I was literally doing was screaming at my walls in the middle of the night. It's been a really back week and a half.

All this because I am out of Topomax, Respirdal, and Klonopin. My spelling might be off on those meds. Tomorrow is when I see the psychiatrist again then I will have my meds back in order.