After an 8th month battle with Lung Cancer, my Step Father,(who was very close to me) died on Friday, July 13th, 2007. I was there when he died and saw him take him last breaths. It does things to a person...hell, seeing an animal die does things to me. I was so sad for him the whole time, ever since they explained he had the cancer. This is why I haven't written in this blog in so long...I was so overwhelmed and haviing schiz symptons and trying to work. I had attacks ever other week and every few days. I spent months thinking some magical power I had would save him but then he died...one weekend I was talking to him and joking around and the next week he died.
I should explain my attack that I had. I was at work at a fast food restaurant when the blackness started over powering my head and I could feel it in mychest. Just like a slow covering tar creeping on me with the feeling of fear and terror attached to it. I went to the back of the restaurant and kinof got dizzy. Then there was this shard of pink see through glass that was floating through my brain trying to cut my brain. Then there were alot of pieces of glass trying to cut my brain up....I felt like I had to hide all of a sudden so I tried to walk across the room....I made it but as I got to the other side a feeling hit me and it went from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet and I fell to the ground right then. I had no control anymore. But when someone else tries to talk to me sometimes I can understand and sometimes not...this time I understood my boss and I was told in short to go home if I could drive...it took a few minutes to get my legs working but I had already taken two Klonopin about 45 minutes before this and it was beginning to clear where I could go home. And I went homeand went to sleep. Back in my "safe place" on the couch with a blanket. That's All
No comments:
Post a Comment