...have been quite peaceful. I go to see my doctor today so maybe I can get some more medical help. Maybe this time he will find the right addition to my combination of drugs. I just have to keep trying different kinds until we find the ones that help. Hopefully I will only need one more drug. The Geodon got rid of the fighting in the mornings and the feelings of being raped. It also helped with the bathroom paranoia...seeing faces in the toilet and feeling like I was being watched. Some of that is still there sometimes. It helped though. I can't wait to get shed of the feelings of someone "linking" to my brain and portraying my every thought. Or the hearing myself think. With the Geodon I know the difference between real and unreal... I know that it is not possible to read someone's mind but it doesn't stop the "feeling" as though someone is reading it. I know they can't but it feels like they are. I know this sounds strange but it is not something that I can just "talk" about to anyone...people get weird when they hear stuff like "psychotic features". I mean really what is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear "psychotic features". But all it really means is that I hear, see, feel, and smell things that are not there. I am not violent nor are most schizophrenics. I just don't want to "hide" myself indoors...I choose to live or try to live normally. But here on this blog I can choose to hide nothing. Everyone needs an outlet. With people I have to be very careful about what I choose to tell them.
Well let's get ready to see my doctor and begin my "cocktail" of medications. Oh and Lisa, remember your physical health is important, too. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
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