Had a 'bout with the schiz

Yesterday, I had a bout with the schiz. It lasted most of the day. It made me remember that I hadn't had one since I was on160 mg of Geodon. Now on 240 mg. But I made it through it...I even knew I would. So it wasn't too bad. Just a lot of voices and nonsense. By the time zI got my third dose of Geodon in it cleared up pretty good. The topic was the schizophrenia and my kids. Yes, I was worried about my kids. I even hallucinated that people were talking to me through their brains...mind linking. But I stayed at work and I felt good regardless. All my voices telling me how loud my brain was last night was a good laugh if you think about it...the voices sounded like they were trying to yell over the cooler fans...as if to try and force me to listen to them.

The Goedon seems to be working pretty good at getting rid of most of the symptoms. I have learned what to do to get rid of the panic attacks every morning. I will not take my Paxil until the afternoon. It was causing the panic attacks with the espresso I drink every morning..I guess that sharp waking up and the Paxil CR just don't mix for me. I haven't had another panic attack since I began to take it in the afternoon. I refuse to give up the espresso!!!!

I do realize that I need to see my therapist more. I can't seem to make it to the appointments. I always reschedule. She is good, I think.