Today, being a day.

I'm prettty shaky this morning, from the coffee, I guess. It has been rough these last few days with panic attacks and nervousness. A couple of times I was afraid to walk, this happened just a minute ago,also. just scared to walk, like my chair was the only thing holding me to sanity. I just took my medicine so most of this should go away. I was shaking bad...then it just stopped right after I took my Klonopin...that means I find my comfort in the pills. Knowing that I will feel somewhat normal soon. The psychiatrist, Dr. Scott, and my therapist, SHeila Walker are trying to get me to learn how to deal with these symptons without relying on the meds. I rely on the Klonopin when I have the attacks, I know this BUT, I rely on the Respiredal for the voices...it works like a miracle and I also rely on the Geodon for the delusions and hallucinations...so what the hell am I doing wrong but taking the medication I need to take. And these attacks, by the way, are not always panic attacks or anxiety attacks...they are more like a schizophrenic bomb went off in my head. There are ways they could find out if I was having panic attacks or whatever but they haven't offered to prove any theory. They told me also, that the physical goes along with the mental in most cases...such as...a schizophrenic might have a few days of voices and confusion and it be because he or she has a head cold. Maybe I should see a private psychiatrist.