Paxil CR 37.5 mg

I took my first of the new increased dosage of Paxil. One pill and I can feel the difference. Some people say that the drug Paxil has to get into your system for about a week before it begins working...but I can tell the difference now. The tears aren't coming to my eyes every few minutes. I guess I will really notice the change in about a week though. My voices haven't told me to "DIE" lately. But I also bet that the Lorecet has something to do with that too. I am feeling a little better...noticeable difference.

I set some goals for me a while back. Goals for my future and for my health. I am pretty close to the denture part of the goals. My teeth are bad. They are broken and full of big cavaties. I have had 3 teeth removed and with have 3 more removed soon. Then there aren't too many left until January when the Dental Insurance kicks in for the denture coverage. Then I will have a set of top side dentures. That is one goal that is being realized slowly but surely. I don't want it all done at once. Another goal was to become an Assistant Manager of one of the convenience stores I under. I am like two weeks away from that goal....Thank God!!! Now I will feel I am actually getting somewhere in this career that has CHOSEN me ...I am finally going to be a little somebody. Then after that...about two years or so...maybe I will be able to manage a store of my own. MAYBE... It might be too much though. After all I am a Paranoid Schizophrenic. Like it is barely a handicap.

I just had to start living with the schiz and not living the schiz! I wish some of those other schizophrenics were able to live like I do. I actually feel as though I am normal with these little problems that occur in my brain. They do occur everyday but it is a lot less than what it was without the medicine. Without the medicine I was getting worse by the day and I was literally psychotic for a long time. Thank God I am non-violent.

I feel like maybe I could handle a manager's position but then there is an amount of stress that goes with the job.

Anyway, I also feel as though I HAVE A LIFE!!! Not like I live in this world where people order each other's sicknesses out of evil-mindedness. Or that some system is contrlling my every move. It even knows what I will have to do at a certain time....or at least I used to think it did. Now I have none of those delusions. None of the big delusions that make me very crazy and tormented!!!

I have alife, a love, and a family that loves me and I love them...everyone of them!!!