Delusional

Mel just left for work about an hour ago so he is not here. I am delusional though. I keep thinking that people are "linking" to me. This brain linking thing really gets to me. I was thinking about my Uncle Charles and then suddenly I went delusional. I swear I feel like I am never alone...that someone is always linking to my brain. A couple of days ago it was my ex David. Then it was that mean ass woman Samantha. I feel like I can't break free from the link. I am so paranoid. I am afraid to change clothes or do much of anything but clean the house and go to work these days. I feel like I have been someone else for about three or four days now. I did get the lawn mowed but it felt more like I was running away from ssomething. Like I just keep running. I am slightly hysterical.

THis is what happened today...
I woke up feeling like I was in a panic over something..like I needed to do something fast-and this is the delusional part- I needed to do something fast to save someone's life. To describe it it felt like I knew something was wrong and it had to do with someone's life. And that I had to find out who this person was...but if I don't find out who this person is then I can't save their life. I don't know if you could understand this but I am trying to explain anyway. So I searched and searched inside my mind to try to find out who it was that needed help and I couldn't find out who it was so I couldn't save that person. I felt franitc, upset, afraid that this person would die soon if I didn't hurry and find out who it was. But I never did find out who it was. I went outside to smoke a cigar and two police cars were two houses down, sitting in the road talking to each other. Then I calmed down some. But I felt like I couldn't breathe, like I was all choked up inside and my breaths were like gulps of air. My tooth began to hurt so I took a pain killer. I felt like I needed to do something to get my mind off of this person that I felt was dying...so I mowed the grass. Ajnd that worked for a little while until the mower cut off with me and I had to get Mel up. I just kept feeling like I had to do something because I couldn't get my mind off this person. So when the mower quit I was almost frantic again. I got upset all over again and I was almost to the point of giving up on everything in life I am trying to do....but Mel fixed the mower and life went on. After I mowed the grass I straightened up the house. The pain killer hit me and I fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up it was all over until...a few minutes ago when I thought I felt someone "linking" to my head. That's when things just sort of pop into my head like it isn't even my brain anymore. That's when I start to feel like I am being watched and that the words that pop into my head are someone else's thoughts...because they have nothing to do with my thoughts or what I am doing...it is like someone else is describing what they are doing...and it causes major paranoia for me. That is what was happening until about the middle of this post. It stopped I lost them. Sometimes I feel like my mind just races to get away from other brains. I know that I said I could tell the difference between reality and the not real...schizophrenic thoughts...but I am at a stage to where I can't tell anymore...I have been in and out of this stage for about a week now.