After those two first times of "hearing things", I didn't hear much more for a few years. I got married and was with Larry for 5 years. You know, it is a wander I wasn't hearing stuff then. Larry was physically abusive, you would think that would've brought it all on. But the next time I remember "hearing things" was after I met David. I fell in love with him and then learned he was a drug addict. I was only nineteen when I met David and turned twenty years old when I started using methamphetamines (Krank). If I remember right, one of the first times I had ever used "krank" I started seeing things. But it was just a time or two later that I began "hearing voices". It started with the radio one night...it played a new song by Robbie Nevel and to me it sounded like someone I went to school with. The radio asked "why did you cut your hair?". I had of course just gotten it cut a day or two earlier. I was shocked! There was no reason for that song to suddenly talk about hair. Then the radio said "I can see you from here." A few minutes went by and I started cleaning the kitchen. Then the radio said "You have to clean it within so many minutes or you'll get busted". Then after I got done with the kitchen...I was cleaning it as fast as I possibly could...I sat down because I was tired. The radio said "You have to clean the rest of the house, too. Get up or you will get busted". This went on and on ... and from there on out I was lost. Lost into a whole new world...that I believed everyone knew about but they never really discussed it. It was like we were not allowed to talk about it. No one would acknowledge the "orders" that they were given by "the power". The people had to do certain things to hurt me in order to get their "running medicine". "Running medicine" was this power that gave you the energy that never made you tired. You ran around and got things done and never got tired of it and anybody would do anything for it.

After a few years of this...I quit the drugs. I couldn't take it anymore. A voice told me or ordered me to "Put it down!!!". I knew it meant to quit the drugs. So I did. I quit for four years. And it quit. I didn't hear anything else for about four years. I had been drinking though. I took, literally, two drinks out of a beer on Thanksgiving Day in 1995 and left my house to go to the store to use the pay phone. I had a wreck soon after I left the house. I ended up ok but I hit my head on the windshield pretty hard. Cracked the windshield into about 25 split cracks. I started hearing voices after that. Without drugs. I believe it was right after that wreck..no more than a couple of days later. The voices went through the television, radio and when I turned them off and made it totally quiet in the house....then they went straight through my head. I could hear them inside my mind. They sounded like other people "thinking" straight to my brain. And that is where the grand delusion of "brain linking" was started. ....................See I know it is a delusion and a hallucination and it is my MAIN one but I can't stop it from happening. Everytime I forget about the voices and schizophrenia something will go through my mind like that and I am back to square one. It is like it won't let go of me. .......................Some voices have names and I have prayed to God to please stop this voice named "so and so" from talking to mee and it has stopped. And I have sat down and wrote in my diary about some delusions and they have stopped...but no matter what I do I can't get this delusion out of my head!!!!