It has total control over me...you know, or you would think that even though I can "feel" things that might be suggested by my brain...you would think some things would be good. But lately, all I feel is fear and disorganization. Most of the time I feel like my brain is totally separate from my body. It is like it isn't mine at all. I am sure someone else stuck this brain on my body. Even though I am not scared...I feel scared. And I look around and there is no reason for it. I hate living like this. I will be in the middle of thinking about something...such as my pocket pc...and suddenly I'll get what the doctors called an intrusive thought...just a thought that runs through your mind whether you are really thinking about it or not. And sometimes I just can't shake it. It just sticks there like someone glued it on the inside of my head. Most of the time the intrusive thought is just nonsense but there are times that don't seem to be nonsense but it doesn't really matter...I don't care about the issue one way or another.
I got an intrusive thought yesterday about that girl that went off with those three guys on her trip...I was thinking of my pocket pc and some of its troubles when I got the thought. It just stayed and lingered in my head but I wasn't really wanting to pay attention that certain issue. It does seem to bother me a little though. You know....like what in the hell was that girl thinking? Or did one of those idiots slip her a drug. Someone said there might have been a drug called "Ecstacy" involved. But mostly the attitude I get from most people is that the girl put herself in that position...
Anyway, I seem to get a running start on some concentration then I get bobarded with intrusive thinking....I wanna scream "THAT'S ENOUGH!!!"
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