Monday, December 19, 2005

Pretty nice

I don't hear voices much anymore..a little delusional when I am not busy. But I feel as though I can think for myself and I don't hear the voices when I am just trying to think. Things are a lot better lately. So I think I am "mind settling" into my new position at work as Assistant Manager. Even after quitting the drugs, I don't think that I have ever been more proud of myself. I have started thinking of more goals for myself since I have achieved most of the goals I set for myself with my Therapist. I haven't come up with any since I DON'T want to be a Manager of one of these stores. I will have to think more on the goals... I am just getting to where I have hardly any voices....

I also have been trying a new thing for me...I am trying to train my brain into "learning" not to tlak to my voices and ignore it...the voices don't stay around much if I am totaling ignoring them. I am trying to relearn how to be normal. I can't say that zI would be able to come off the medicines...I need them to function..but with the help of meds I can live normally. Before this I was just taking them to calm down many of the symptoms like paranoia, feeling terrorized by voices, and fear that I felt just by living day by day. Since the brain is constantly learning I feel I may be able to "train" it into being normal...almost. I don't know how to describe it well...but I will be able to describe it after I am done.

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