I have my suicidal days too...

I've gotten as far as having a definite plan outlined in my mind for when the time comes. No pills, that's not reliable and could just leave you embarrassed or comatose. No knives or guns either, not reliable enough either. My way is absolutely foolproof, and just knowing that keeps me from doing it in some strange way. It's like it's always there, if I need it, but nothing so far has been quite bad enough to need it. I think it's more of a feeling of knowing that I could control it if I absolutely had to that helps.

Suicidal...

If y'all don't know already I go to a Mental Health Clinic of this county. (No need to name it). The psychiatrist sees you for a grand total of 15 minutes maximum and that is to get medicine and refills and you see a therapist for all that you need to talk about. Well, my therapist likes to talk about her family problems and such. I like her as a person; she is great, but as a therapist she sucks. She had the nerve to ask me why I was suicidal...REALLY!!! How the hell am I supposed to know I feel this way for no reason as far as I am concerned.
I dream of taking the whole bottle of Geodon I have plus other meds. I feel like I am barely hanging on. I am scared to death my daughter will see it and know about it...So now anyway, my husband, who is literally my life saver through this is setting me up with a REAL psychiatrist. One who listens to your problems and then decides on advice to give you from 12 years of schooling not two years of tutoring. This has got to work. I'm at the end here. I'm desperate.