Celexa

I was taking a drug called Celexa, but it seemed to only knock me out and make me miserable. I have a good life with my husband and I really love my life, but, Celexa made me suicidal. I kept taking it for a month (it is supposed to be an antidepressant) to see if maybe it took a few weeks to start working like most antidepressants, but it just seemed to knock me out and make me crazier. My psychiatrist doesn't seem to understand that I am tired of being sleepy and tired and sedated all the time. But she told me to take all my meds at night. So I did but I still felt groggy and sleepy until about 3:00 pm in the afternoon. These are powerful drugs. I know I am a Schizophrenic but I don't want to live my life sedated all the time. It's not fair. So my Therapist told me to ask my psychiatrist about a drug called Provincial. I did and she says "You just want uppers and downers." I said " No, it's just that all my medication sedates me and I am sick of being tired and sleepy." I also said something like "y'all are so easy to give us drugs that sedate us but what about the ones that actually want to be awake, and try to live...I can't NOT take my meds because they help me, But I don't want to be knocked out all the time". Now I am off Celexa for good and am on an antidepressant that works for me, Effexor. And it does NOT make me sleepy.

Disability

I am now receiving Social Security Disability from Social Security Administration. And I just had my second set of shots for my hip. I can barely walk through Walmart without having to stop because of my hip. I could use the little shopper's chair scooter but I am only 37 and feel ridiculous in it. Getting the Disability gave me a huge sigh of relief about being able to pay the bills and me not working. Now I can concentrate on my hip and my schizophrenia w/bipolar. I don't have to be afraid of how much it is going to hurt when I do something at work I know will hurt my hip and brain.

I have had audio hallucinations for the last couple of days non stop and I went off on the voices. A part of me keeps telling myself that it is totally a hallucination and not to worry about it but I can't help it...the voices take my whole concentration from me and I can't keep them from talking to me, about me, etc. While I am typing this I am not hearing any voices but ... well, I pray they leave me alone tonight.