Meds and Mama

I am taking my meds normally and for now there are no voices. I am suddenly afraid of the dark though. I drank last night and am not feeling too good right now. I keep hearring my mother give me headaches when I drink. I feel I don't want to speak to her again. I can't get it in my head that they are just hallucinations. They are bad ones. She keeps saying she will make me sick if I don't quit drinking. But the drinking is lightening me up alot. I think that I am 38 years old and should be able to drink without Mama's voices trying to stop me.