My doctor increased my dosage to 120 milligrams of Geodon a day. The voices have changed. They sound like the aren't talking to me or about me anymore. Like the voices are turning away from me. It is really weird how the "voices" seem to have found something better to do. I am relieved. But I am also finding myself worried more. Worried about real life things. I mean I always worried about my kids and people I love. But I never really worried about keeping a job or worry about being robbed before. It didn't scare me until now. I thought life would be the easiest thing to live (especially after what I have been through) if I could just get rid of the voices. Now I don't worry about getting rid of the voices...I worry about real things. Go on and roll your eyes at me, but when you think 5 or 6 people are watching and talking about you all day long... you never get a minutes peace and even just peeing can be quite an ordeal. You feel like there is no privacy. You wanna say something to the voice like "look I can do this by myself" or "can't you find anything better to do". Besides bother me all day. But it does not go away without drugs...not for me. I feel better nowadays. But I am depressed about real issues. So I will go for now. Love to you.
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