I didn't realize

That I was not getting a refill on my antidepressant, Paxil. If I knew there was no refill on it I would have weened myself off of it slowly. So now I will be going down that bumpy road. I have been feeling the effects of the withdrawal. I am emotional and depressed. I started to read a book called "The Quiet Room" and ended up getting tearied eyed.
"The Quiet Room" is about a girl who has Schizophrenia. She attempts suicide several times. But in the end a drug called Clozapine helps her to start living again. It is a true story.
This last week has been almost a torment. My son ran off for a few days..he is 17 years old...and with that worry and stress comes more voices and schizophrenic affects. Any worry or stress..even a little bit..rares up the schizophrenic features 100%. I have been seeing pictures of certain people under my buttocks while I am urinating again. This totally makes me paranoid. Because I think they can see me pee. I am paranoid of people dying and the television is ttalking to me again. I also felt as if I was out of breath most of the day yesterday. Panic or Anxiety I think. I felt better after I talked some things out with my Aunt yesterday. I felt like I could finally breathe later that evening. And I also forced myself to relax.