Tuesday, March 15, 2005

I'm still around...

Just not feeling very communicative lately. The pain's getting worse every week even though it 'shouldn't hurt' and she gave me the bare minimum of pain meds which I'm still very grateful for, but I don't know how much more I can handle. I keep switching in and out, letting whoever handle things that can, but the result of that is that everyone around me is confused, and I feel frustrated. A little bit depressed about having this, also..the DID I mean. I don't want to be 'mentally ill', I want to be normal. I didn't ask to get born, why couldn't I at least be normal? Then I realize that I have a lot of advantages over people who don't split....and it makes me feel better somehow.

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

You are going through alot right now after between feeling like you are causing a problem to telling it all and getting it all out there. When I first told Aunt Linda and you about my father I did alot of "reliving" the old feelings. You are doing the same thing and it is playing hell on the mental part of you. But you have to seriously remember that YOU DID NOT DO ANYTHING WRONG...HE DID. And remember that if it wasn't for what HE DID than this wouldn't be happening today. Also remember that you are not his victim anymore...you are the survivor...don't let him win.