I was thinking today..not sure if that was a good idea -I am just finding out about me. I argued that the "voices" were ruining my relationships for years. Any relationship I had was being "sabotaged" by these people with nasty attitudes and nasty opinions. Now I have to see it for what it is...It's All Psychological.... the "voices" are turning into my insecurities about my relationships. Anything I said wrong to the kids..the "voices" chant worse things. Things I would never say or do but they are things I am scared of or insecure about. I am worried that I will say something wrong and it hurt them. I said something before and I couldn't remember saying it for the life of me. I still don't remember doing it and that scares me to death. So now I realize what it means and I am finding out who I am in the process. I am a schizoprenic woman, 33 years old really finding herself. Since I have found out about the phrenia, I have found my best friend in the computer. And in my family. I hope that I don't scare off. I am accepting myself, but I am handicapped when it comes to relationships and living.
I also know that I scared someone today while I tried to explain something that I had been going through. It scared her so no more talking about it. I just got my first lesson in how much to say...no other way to describe it to someone who doesn't experience it except to call it "voices". Lesson #1 Learned. I am sorry I scared her...I wasn't trying to.
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