Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Maybe this can help us....

For all those who don't know...Schizophrenia is when you "see", "hear", "smell", "feel" and "taste" things that aren't really there. My boyfriend poor thing, doesn't know what to think. But, I hope we will pull through. I have apparently had this for 9 years but I didn't think that it was "something". Even though I have had this awhile and there is really nothing new..it has gotten worse over the years. I am paranoid of normal things. The restroom happens to be one of them. I am afraid to shower and use the toilet because I think someone is watching me. Of course I do shower everyday but it is terrorizing to me. I "fight" the terror and just do it anyway. Just go on and live anyway. Don't let anything stop ME from living. It's hard but then there are good days.
I forget things for small periods at a time. It feels really scary to me to be the only person who really knows what is not a normal thing for me and see it happening every day.
I looked at the doctor who knew what medicine to give me because he has this skill and knowledge for it, and I wanted him to tell me how this happened. But, I was afraid to ask. HAHAHA

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