Seems to be better now...

Seems to be better now that I got to write it out. Lot less "dying" in the 'voices'. You know we call them "voices" but that isn't most of the problem. I hear things.. sure. Sounds like someone is in the room talking to me as if they were there. But the things that really bother me are the"ideas" that come into mind. They come from inside my head. Like the dying or ideas of dying that I mentioned before. It is just and an idea that seems to pass through my mind as if it were put that or "laid" there but some human hand. It is weird and it is very freaky. Sometimes the thought just sits there until I make some visible effort to shew it away from my head. I know that it isn't logical and that it isn't even what I "normally" worry about. I am not afraid of death but if the thought linger's after I get busy doing something else; I tend to get deeply afraid or paranoid about it. With the medicine it is more controlled and if I ignore it seems to go away pretty quick and there won't be another thought like it for awhile. So what do I do if I run out of meds. Like I will in two days. I am worried...afraid that my check won't go through until friday. Though it should stay in my system for about a week, at least. Don't worry folks... I know the stuff I hear, see, etc. ain't real. I am non violent also. I have also been smelling an odor like a dogs breath or something. The more I worried about the worse it got. The cat wasn't even around. I Thank God Mel is very clean too. This writing wasn't that bad but it seems to freak people out...so I wrote it in red. My problems seem to be with my five senses. That is the little stuff. But most of us are NON VIOLENT. So don't you dare think that I am a bad person.