Feelings...

Well, I knew I would have to test medicines before I found the right one. And now it looks like that is gonna happen. I don't really want to have to take several medicines to deal with my schizophrenia. I only want one miracle pill. My tongue kind of had a mind of it's own...muscle spasms and swelling. Like it wanted to arch back. So I was order off the Abilify and on to Benedryl in case of an allergic reaction. One day off the medicine and I can tell the difference. Maybe the next menicine will be the one. this trial thing is not my bag. And the Abilify had the least amount of side effects. I am frustrated, worried and I don't know if I wanna cry or scream. I know what is gonna. I will be on a med that stops the schizophrenia but I will need to take several drugs to counter act the side affects of the medication. I am almost 33 years old and I am already gonna have a "bag" of several meds to go with me where ever I go. What a life. Ain't it grand. Just to live Bull*#it free. I'm mad and venting. Even though these medications are great and scientific breakthroughs...they still are very dangerous. I think that any drug that alters your way of thinking or changes levels of brain chemicals could easily work the other way. A change in patterns... or shall I say chemical changes...to the wrong levels could make you very worse...probably could cause seizures easily. BUT I AM NOT A DOCTOR. So do not abuse your meds. These drugs for psychological "difficulties" are for psychotic tendacies. Something bad could really happen. Take them but be aware of your body and the differences and tell your doctor. I did abuse the drug one time. I took a half a pill more of Abilify before and my voices got meaner and louder and I couldn't bare much. I almost screamed. It literally reminded me that I have psychotic features. I am getting sleepy now Thank God. This day almost over. Ya'll be good. Love