Saturday, August 07, 2004

I'm Paranoid

I was told to stop the meds..Mel says he wishes I wouldn't. He says I am better with them and almost like I was before. I took a half pill yesterday and today. I feel better. But I bought 2 of Dido's songs and feel a little better...she modes me. Into a "get it done" attitude. Off track right then....I am paranoid, I guess, I woke up with my tongue real bad this morning and it was past time for medications. I don't think that this is an allergic reaction anymore. Half a pill and over 24 hours and it got worse. But the medication is still in my blood stream. I hope I am allergic or that it is definately from the medication. I am worried that it might be brain "motor" problems. For 9 years I never said a word about the voices but this last 2 or 3 years it got real bad. Especially the last year...Oh God. My memory... within seconds I couldn't understand what people where saying in front of me. I shake when I think about it. And cry.Out burst happen daily, I wanna go to the hospital. But I see my doctor Tuesday. Stoppped shaking then. Something is wrong with me. I think that if I read anything about "side affects" I will start getting them. I gotta go and be ready for work. 2 more nights.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

You really need to stop them until they find out if you're allergic or not. I know it seems like forever, but when I had the allergic reaction to penicillin I nearly died and if it is an allergic reaction you could have the same thing....or it could just be something you have to get used to, and you'd be able to take the meds. I know it seems like forever until Tuesday, I wish I could help somehow. But you've made it for years, you'll make it through a few more days and find out what's really going on. I know, that's easy for me to say since i'm not the one suffering right now...but believe me, I'm right along with ya all the way even when you don't feel me there.